When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure!

As everyone has probably heard, my Grandma Huff passed away last Wednesday night surrounded by 9 of her 10 kids and many grandchildren in Green Bay, WI. It has been a rough week for me, and my faith and perseverance has been tested a lot. The hardest part is accepting that she is gone. She was only in the hospital for a few days. I was lucky to be able to talk to her the day before on the phone. She asked me about Vietnam, her mind was all there right until the end. I am so thankful for that conversation and being able to tell her I loved her one last time and hear her say it back to me. When Grandma Graves passed away I was away at Knox and it was really painful as well, but I was able to come home and say my final goodbyes. I have struggled being so far away right now, so many emotions. I am lonely and sad but also angry and feel helpless. I have been talking to my family a lot and that has really saved me, being able to hear my dad, mom, and brother's voices has saved me. Greg brought his computer with to Green Bay and I was able to talk to all my aunts, uncles, and cousins on skype after my grandma passed away and I will always treasure being able to share our sorrows together in that way.

You would think that through all this my faith would have been lost but I've never felt God so strongly. When I woke up at 6am on thursday morning I called my dad and he said grandma was still fighting even after everything and to call back in the afternoon. After I lay in bed and Amber and Grandma Graves told me that she was going to be ok. I called dad back at 6:20 to tell him to tell Grandma that. I called back right when she passed, it is like she knew.

I think deep down that both my grandmas both just really wanted to go to the beach and that is why they passed when they did. Grandma Graves passed away right before I went to Mexico and Grandma Huff before I went to Mui Ne Beach. I think they really just wanted to come with me on vacation. It was a relaxing weekend and Mui Ne was awesome but it was also hard being there knowing everything going on back home.

But I know that God is there for me. Ravi told me he was praying for me and thinking about me a lot and at church he looked at the front of his hymnal and it was the book my parents had dedicated to me. That made me smile and I just knew how much love and prayers I had coming from far away to me. As a kid I always tried to find that hymnal and never could. Ravi always gave me this quote, "When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure." I really love that quote and i hold that dear to my heart.

I'm doing alright now, I am kind of numb now and past all the crying (for now). I am just really sad to know that I won't have any grandparents see me get married someday. I never met my grandpas but I know they were probably pretty great because my grandmas were incredible. But I had dad put a white rose with Grandma Huff just like Grandma Graves, it is my way of having them there for my future wedding.

I know I made grandma proud because whenever she had visitors even two weeks ago she had them read my blog posts about what I am doing over here. That is really touching and I'll always treasure that. Now grandma Huff gets to meet Amber and see why she had such an impact on my life.

I know that when I go home and visit Green Bay I will experience all the pain all over again. Being here it is easy to pretend it isn't real because I shouldn't be seeing her here, it is when I go back home. Although the distance makes it hard, I really appreciate all the love and support from my friends and family to me here. My roommate Sophie has been great and I really love how sweet and caring she is. I can see us becoming even better friends.

Love and miss you all back home!!!